Liam ‘celebrated’ his last day at work last Saturday. He is so happy that he doesn’t have to go back there, and I have to admit, I am happy as well. It does leave me quite scared though, he does not have a new job yet and I am not sure if I can support us two. I do not make that much money (and even though I am hoping to get a different function therefore a big raise, it is not there yet, and I doubt my boss sees me in that position as he did not reply to my email yet) so it leaves me quite scared, we have to give up a lot for his mistakes. At first I had to give up my flat, my wonderful cats and a tight relationship with my family because he wanted to go to university in England, as the uni Holland did not accept him.
It just seems now and then that I have to give up more and more and so far did not receive much in return yet. I mean, if you don’t count Liam himself and our relationship. We are damn good together and I know we can sort it all out, it just scares me sometimes, am I giving up to much, when is it my turn? Selfish, I know, but even my bonus from work goes mainly to him because he needs a new computer for his course. My PC has been shit for a few months now but I can do nothing about it, because there is no money. When there is finally some money coming in, it is going somewhere else… I really do not want to be selfish, but it is ok to think about myself for once, isn’t it?
I do have to mention though, that he is paying quite a bit into the council tax so a new PC for him is more then fair. It is just everything together which is getting to me a bit. I had to sell off all my ‘old’ jewelry, for scrap gold. It made some money and when we finally give up smoking we can make it through this month without borrowing from somebody. I made it perfectly clear that he has to repay this though haha, not in money but in new, gorgeous jewelry. It might take a few years but I am sure he will keep to that.
When I found out what happened and what was going on with Liam I told him, there is never an easy way. That seems, now more then ever, so true. We will get there, eventually, someday. A lucky break would be nice though.
It just seems now and then that I have to give up more and more and so far did not receive much in return yet. I mean, if you don’t count Liam himself and our relationship. We are damn good together and I know we can sort it all out, it just scares me sometimes, am I giving up to much, when is it my turn? Selfish, I know, but even my bonus from work goes mainly to him because he needs a new computer for his course. My PC has been shit for a few months now but I can do nothing about it, because there is no money. When there is finally some money coming in, it is going somewhere else… I really do not want to be selfish, but it is ok to think about myself for once, isn’t it?
I do have to mention though, that he is paying quite a bit into the council tax so a new PC for him is more then fair. It is just everything together which is getting to me a bit. I had to sell off all my ‘old’ jewelry, for scrap gold. It made some money and when we finally give up smoking we can make it through this month without borrowing from somebody. I made it perfectly clear that he has to repay this though haha, not in money but in new, gorgeous jewelry. It might take a few years but I am sure he will keep to that.
When I found out what happened and what was going on with Liam I told him, there is never an easy way. That seems, now more then ever, so true. We will get there, eventually, someday. A lucky break would be nice though.
