Alienated
18:45 | Author: Tanith
You know, the reason why we got a cat is because I nagged Liam to get me one, I needed company when he is not here. I am getting more and more uncertain if moving to England was a good idea. I love Liam and I want to be with him, no matter what. I am just missing my friends, my family. I had always something to do back in Holland; even if I stayed a day in there was a load that I still needed to watch, or cuddle with one of my cats or simply some cleaning up. Sit on my balcony enjoying the sun, reading a book, name it.

This cat is evil, yes it can be cute now and then, but he sheds like crazy. Evil ginger hair everywhere! I have no friends here in England, I tried to make some but so there is nobody that just goes *click*. Yes, friendship has to go click for me, like love needs to go *click* for me. Liam is doing his best but I just feel lonely here.

Even if I had a friend, I couldn’t invite them over, or go out. Thanks to Liam and Erm not doing anything in the household, it pretty much consumes my weekend. Maybe I am just bummed out that I still not hold my little nephew yet but recently I just feel… unsatisfied. In my work, in my social live, in watching Holland play with no back up, spirit surrounding me.

I normally don’t really like football, but when Holland plays, it is like the whole country coming together, drinking beer or wine, going out watching the match on TV and ranting when we should have gotten a penalty. It is just the vibe that is coming off people, the togetherness we normally do not have in Holland. I never thought I say this but I miss the damn flat place.

I even miss my job, that’s why I am so unsatisfied; there is nothing in my work that makes me happy. Not like with my old job. Sure it was nothing special, working on the distribution site of Philips house supplies but it made me happy, the place made me happy, the people made me happy. I feel like I do not belong where I work now. I’m not connected to anyone, I hear people ranting about problems which I can not do anything about it. I make a note in the system and that is it, although I make customers believe that I will solve their problem for them. But that is not my job…

Most of all I just miss somebody to talk to. If I tell my parents or my sister or even my brother what is bothering me, they will just say that I have to come back to Holland. But I won’t leave Liam. He makes me happy, makes me feel like we belong together and I do not want to give that up.

I am sorry that I am losing my happy *vibe* that I had going on here but hey, it is not like there is somebody to read this shit anyway. It’s my only outlet.
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