Tanith

The Evil One

2009-03-28T22:09:00.004Z

We call him ‘murder cat’ as he always looks so pissed off, sleeping in the most weird places and it seems like due to his angry look, he is plotting our demise constantly. Behold; our own little Garfield!

And here below, as you can see, he is very busy plotting!

Vandals!

2009-03-28T21:52:00.000Z

* Please note, this entry contains strong language *

Unfortunately I live on a busy road and sometimes there isn’t parking space for my little Betty in the small, not ever busy road next to our scrappy house, therefore I sometimes am forced to park on the busy road. Unfortunately my passenger side mirror got knocked about a few times, but never really seriously, we always managed to fix Betty right up.

Previous Monday I had quite a shock though, I, once again, was forced to park my precious little Betty on the busy road once again the Sunday before, this time with the drivers’ side to the road. Some complete and utter twat (I swear better in Dutch but as my blog is in English), went so fast and so close past my wonderful Betty that he/she/they knocked off her drivers’ side mirror off completely! I couldn’t find back the glass/mirror and the casing was just hanging to the side like a limb arm…

I was devastated, */rant mode on* I lost count of the times they trashed my mirrors but it was never as bad as this. I even park sensible; I am so far on that damn pavement that it is fucking easy to go around it is un-fucking-believable! I am nearly positively sure that it’s those fucking bus drivers who just push those damn busses through a to narrow passage and just refuse to wait 2 seconds until the car coming towards them passed. They should be fucking strapped up vandalising people’s property like that! Everybody who is vandalising other’s peoples property should be fucking locked up and their houses destroyed in the mean time! */rant mode off*

I am terribly sorry for this ‘rant’ but god, I had to get it out, and England just really is full with the rudest people I have ‘encountered’ as I never met them. Luckily one of Liam’s friends is good with cars, we went to a car graveyard today, picked up a new mirror for £10 and fixed Betty right up, she is as good as new. Unlucky for me though the little ‘never busy’ road was filled up with parked cars once again and Betty is, as we speak, parked on the busy road…

In my own little world

2009-03-27T13:41:00.001Z

I am definitely too much into reading books, mostly fantasy books. I just finished the third book of the Inheritance cycle, only to discover that another book has to be written! I already knew towards the end that he just wasn’t able to finish the story without a really rubbish ending and I really hoped he wouldn’t do just that. I am disappointed that the fourth book still has to be written (so another 2/3 years waiting, perhaps even longer!) but very happy that Christopher did not rush off the ending.

I waited for nearly 2 years for this book to come out; when I finished the second book, Eldest, the writer only just started writing the third (and at that point; last) book and when finally finished in September 2008, Liam got it for me as a Christmas present, and now I have to wait again, for another book to be written… I have to confess that I am not a very patient person, and this is driving me near my limits…

I heard the movie Eragon (The first book) was rubbish so I am not even trying to watch it until Christopher finally finishes the last book. I want to read all the books before I watch the movie(s). However, if you wanted to read the book but have been put off by watching the movie, please get yourself a copy of these books because they are just about the best read I have ever had, their brilliant.

I received the first book of The Black Magicians trilogy from Liam for valentines, as he knows how much I love to read. I have to say, next to Christopher (and a few others), Trudy is now one of my favorite authors! The way she writes just made it impossible for me to put down the book and do some of the household or even go to bed, it is fantastic! If you love fantasies, I really advise that you get the Black Magician Trilogy by Trudy Canavan, it is a brilliant read, I was unable to put down these books and I know it will do the same to everybody, as long as they are willing to open their mind and wonder into a world of fantasy.

I had a look on Trudy’s website and it is her who inspired me to do a few short stories, her advise for writers is to write every day, and as it is one of my goals in live, to write a book, I made myself look at my blog and bow my head in shame, I really do have to make more entries, every day if possible and in the meanwhile work on a nice, little short story which has been going around in my head for ages. I will post it when or if I finish it, so comments are most, most welcome!

Ah… reading… I really get dragged into the whole story, the surroundings and the characters, everything, if the story is good enough. Liam thinks I am silly as it is only ‘a book’, but when I get into things, I laugh when it is funny, I am happy when something amazing for my favorite character(s) happens and I cry when something bad happens. That is how I know when I am reading a brilliant damn good book; if it can sway my emotions and mood, and I have to say, Trudy and Christopher did a fantastic job and they are both in my top 5 writers!

School sick

2009-02-23T14:57:00.001Z

I’m skipping today, I know I shouldn’t but when my alarm went off this morning I just could not get up. I do have a bit of a headache but when I called in I kind off lied. I am currently sitting at home with a massive migraine and I am really incapable of doing anything at the moment. Ever since I made my mind up of getting the hell out of there I just cannot be bothered anymore, getting up every morning on time is getting harder and harder, the will to work for them is gone.

Something completely random and unfair which is a side effect of me not going to work this morning is Liam being angry at me. He was supposed to go to uni at noon today, but we did not wake up until 11.30am. Now he is angry with me for not getting up at the time I normally do on a Monday morning and therefore not waking him up so he would be on time at uni. So, to sum it up, we got up, had quick coffee and I raced into my clothes to drop him off. He wasn’t very happy when I dropped him off as I took the road I usually take to uni and apparently that is the long, long way to get there. Some people are never pleased, no matter how much you try and help them out.

Honestly, I don’t think it is my fault that he was ‘nearly’ late this morning; he has a telephone with an alarm on it and an alarm clock next to his bed. Ah well, he just phoned that he is on his way back so I best make him a nice coffee. I also made myself promise that I am going to work tomorrow. Ah, wish me luck.

Final verdict

2009-02-23T14:14:00.000Z

Well, the news came in. Our office in Derby is definitely going to close. I need to have a new job before the end of June or we are screwed. Liam asked me if I wanted to go to uni instead of finding a different job. I would only need a part time job but as much as I want to, I also want to live decent and be able to move out not next student year, but the year after that. If I go on and take up a full course now we are not going anywhere, and god knows how long we would be stuck here. I am so not going to miss that place, even though some people are nice. It is time, to move on and hopefully moving up the ladder a bit.

I really hope there is something out there for me, something wonderful and good. Unfortunately Red did not turn out to be that great. I am not seeing Red anymore. It wasn’t even a job opportunity; they are just trying to sell you the driver instructor course. I know, I know, I should have know that they were screwing me over but hey, it gave me 2 hours off work and maybe an idea for the future. It all sounds very good and if you have plenty of customers, you can make a decent living, fairly good to say. But in these times, it is just not worth it. The course itself costs £3,678.00 which is just too enormous. There is no guaranty that you will have enough customers to pay for all your expenses and have enough left for your bills etc as well. And in all honesty, I don’t think I would make such a good teacher.

So not it is just waiting for the right opportunity to come along and hopefully impress the people with my letter and CV to get an invitation and after that, hopefully impress them face to face. Unfortunately as I discovered very recently, I seem to forget all the English words I have ever learned when nervous. This does not look good for me. It was so weird, I tried to think of normal English words and they all escaped my mind, even though I never have any problems with the English language, ever. I feel so ashamed; I should and could have done a lot better.

Please do not worry, I am just keeping the suspense, my story about Liam and me meeting will continue soon, hang in there!

Destination; Derby (1)

2009-02-15T02:14:00.001Z

I am so not happy. I know this is going to be an awful entry and not very fun for you all to read but I have to let it out. I AM NOT HAPPY! It is the time of the year again, our landlady gives us a call asking if we want to stay for the next ‘uni’ year. I informed her that Liam and me wanted to stay for the next year, well, we do not want to really but we don’t have much choice unfortunately. Erm kept dodging the question when we told him that we need to let the landlady know what it is going to be. I hoped so badly that he didn’t want to stay, Liam and I already decided that we can do it on our own. I was so looking forward to being just alone again. In all honesty, my life has been an absolute mess since Liam signed up for university here in Derby.

I think it is best to do the whole story in stages, to avoid a really long and boring entry. It think it is time to tell you all how I landed in little shitty Derby, we’re going back to the beginning!

Let’s start with saying that I am a geek, or a nerd, I cannot remember the difference between those two. I love online gaming, first person shooters in particularly. I got hooked when my brother showed me a game he was playing named Delta Force 2. The first time I played I did not get off until around 5 in the morning. After European people went to sleep I stayed up and played with the Americans, I was hooked. I nearly played every free night I had, which disappointed my parents a lot, as I was still living at home but never showing my face.

What was even more disappointing for them is that I dropped out of college and started to work. I did not have the patient to sit still, to absorb what education had to give me, the fool I was. After 6 months trying to study how to be an administration assistant without any books (somehow nobody seemed to be able to help me getting the right books) I was so frustrated and fed up that I decided to drop out. This wasn’t what I wanted to do anyway!

I started working at a big grocery store near where I lived as my parents told me so lovingly ‘a job is a job, you dropped out, now you have to go work for your meals’. In all honesty they didn’t force me to pay anything as long as I lived under their roof, they been really helpful, nice and understanding, but hated the fact that I dropped out and did nothing all day. Within 2 weeks I had started at the grocery store, nothing special but there were some nice people around and I made some good friends. I also fell in love there, which is a complete different story, which is really not interesting so I will keep it short. We started dating and I sort of ‘lost’ my interest in Delta Force 2 as I was busy most of the nights with this guy. I also changed jobs, I found a nice, pretty good paying job as (if you are guessing, your guessing right) an administrative assistant for a distribution centre for DVD’s, books and basically everything relating to Multi Media.

What can I say, after 9 months and just spending a nice week in Turkey, we broke up. So having a lot of time on my hands again, I started working weekends in a nightclub so having 2 jobs, respectable administrative assistant by weekdays and going madly wild and enjoying herself to the max on weekend evening. That is a time I am still thinking back to very fondly. I also discovered Red Faction, an online multiplayer first person shooter, fps in short. I got hooked again.

Next time; How Tanith met Liam

Seeing Red

2009-02-11T21:12:00.000Z

I called Liam later in the afternoon when I tried to see if Betty’s heart was working again. It wasn’t. I knew this was going to be expensive. Liam’s friend and now also boss knows a bit about cars so when he brought Liam home from work they picked up a new ‘heart’ for my little Betty. It took a while but after while the operation was successful! My wonderful little purple (not blue, I don’t care what Liam, or the official papers, say) is alive again! And she is fitter then ever. No more rough mornings with a lot of coughs but finally getting on with it, everything runs a lot smoother now. Poor Betty cost me quite a bit lately but she is worth it, lets just hope this is the last of it for now.

Still not really very lucky at the job front, I called the guy who I had an interview with 2 weeks ago now (called him last Wednesday), I have to give it to English ‘politeness’ once again though, he pissed me off enormously. ‘Hi Adam, it’s Tanith, I came over for an interview last week and not heard back from you since, can you enlighten me of the progress?’ and he so puts himself right in there; ‘Tanith, Hi, yes, I was just going to call you!’. I did not care how the rest of the conversation went; I already figured out that I did not get the job but I just wanted to confirm this, plus he said that he would call. However; the nerves to say that you were going to call me while we both know that you were not! Just say that you are sorry that you did not get around to calling me (basically saying that you could not be bothered but in a polite way), but do not say that bullshit!

Liam and I were watching TV tonight and a commercial for RED driving instructors came by. ‘That’s not even that bad though, is it?’ Liam casually remarked. ‘No, it’s not’ I replied. To make a very long and boring story short I went to their website, gave them my details and am awaiting their phone call. Certainly does not hurt to hear what they are on about. Their website stated that I get my own free air-conditioned Vauxhall Astra (new model) which sounds pretty good! I know it will be stamped with pictures of RED on it but I don’t care, it’s a good, nippy little car and I get to make my own hours. So if I want to go back and study I can do it around those hours. It is not the best job in the world but with the economy being so terrible lately it all sounds pretty good. I will have my own office, unfortunately I don’t have a great desk but hey, I got my own little nippy awesome car!

Betty

2009-02-07T10:26:00.000Z

I woke up cheery, so decided to be really nice for Liam and bring him to work. It’s very cold today so the car needed a special treatment this morning. I always start the car before I get the scrapper and ‘de-ice’ it; make the progress go a bit faster. So I got in to get car to get it going, she (Yes, my little car is a she, I named her Betty) looks fine, a bit cold but she is doing good.

I slowly brush my hand very gently over the steering wheel, she is very cold. I slowly slide the key in, give her another slight and gentle tap on the dashboard. She starts glowing, as she is an old, but very fine, diesel. I had faith, she is a very fine car, I turned the key and she coughed, stuttered while the key was still trying to get her going. I went white, ‘don’t let me down sweetie’ I mumbled, ‘I know its cold, but you can do it, your ok’. She stuttered a bit more and then completely went silent.

Her heart gave out; it was just to cold tonight. It is a dark day today; the sun disappeared behind a cloud and it feels even colder then it actually is. A dark day indeed.

More snow, and our murdercat

2009-02-05T21:19:00.001Z

This morning whole Derby looked like a fairytale, it was magical until I received the news that the office was open as usual. I called in around 8 to see if anybody was in at all. Unfortunately ‘everybody’ was in. Not willing to take the car as the roads seemed very dangerous I waited 30 minutes freezing my blooming toes off I realised the stupid bus would not show up (even though I did saw it go by earlier in the morning), so I ended up digging out my car anyway. I hate driving in the snow but I been through worse. I didn’t go out of second gear though but all in all I arrived save after a 40 minute drive, it normally takes around 10 minutes but hey, I was only 30 minutes late.

I came in the office and could not believe my eyes. It was way passed nine and I was the fifth person to show up! Everybody there my arse! So after I risked my life to get into work because ‘everybody’ did, I felt hugely disappointed that hardly anybody else was there. I was relieved that another 4 persons showed up after I did. I have to give a big heads up to my boss though; he is the only person to come in that did not live in Derby.

Liam introduced me to Black Books, the English comedy show with Bill Bailey and some others who I cannot remember the name off. If you are looking for a good laugh (or when you are having a nice day off from job hunting and applying) this is definitely the show to pick you up. Liam tripped just before I came home and knocked a hole in the bathroom door. Another broken thing in this shitty house doesn’t matter, hopefully this will open her eyes and do something about this horrible place. Liam is alright, his hand hurt a lot but he is feeling a lot better now, it doesn’t look like it is broken or even strained. He tripped over our cat Puggy in the hallway, where it is always dark, we always nicknamed him ‘Murdercat’ due to the odd places where he sleeps and it seems to become true now. Our cat is out to kill us! I hope it starts with erm!

Accidents happen

2009-02-03T21:22:00.000Z

I was so happy about the snow that I did not see the drama around me. While I was digging out my car out of the snow so I could go home, my co-worker slipped and fell further up the street. She broke her wrist and dislocated her entire arm! She is under heavy medication and staying home resting for now, however I cannot believe that I walked passed all that, dug out my car further down the street and did not notice anything. I wish I knew she had to walk home so I could have given her a ride home, but more people tried to give her a ride home which she denied, well she did not get far walking.

Still no news of the interview, no phone call, no letter, no email, nothing. I am getting seriously pissed off and so going to call that well, arsehole. No need to be polite, he does not deserve it. English rudeness, bah. This reminds me though that I still have a job that I found on the internet to apply to, for Derby university. *Fingers crossed once more*

I just picked up Liam from uni where he had lectures until 8pm, so kind me thought it would be nice to pick him up, specially in this cold weather. Turned out that their ‘class’ discussion took a bit longer, resulting in me sitting out there in the blooming cold for over 30 minutes, I am so not happy. He showed up in the end, I nearly took off as he could not let me know that he was going to be later. It is really no fun, toying between the emotions of anger and worry. I decided to be angry when he finally showed up even though it wasn’t his fault. I now feel a bit guilty for lashing at him but I’ll make it up later. Promise.

Snow snow snow!

2009-02-02T20:38:00.000Z

I love snow! Unfortunately London got more snow then we did, no snowing in means no time of work tomorrow, which would be so amazing, an unexpected free day. I promised to take some pictures for my mom and dad so let’s hope it’s still there tomorrow. I wish it would snow a lot more, free days and I get Liam to get a sledge so we can go off hills! Fact, Holland is flat, no hills. So when we have snow it is sort off useless for sledges, even though you can buy them everywhere.

I still didn’t hear anything from the interview so I really given up all hope now but there are plenty more jobs out there and I intent to find one. A good one. I am sure something will come along my way soon enough. If it doesn’t I can always go for the Uni option and get some money while doing what I want anyways. There is always a way, I just hope I can find a nice way to secure our future.

English professionalism

2009-02-01T21:11:00.002Z

They didn’t call me. It is nearly safe to say that I didn’t get this job. I am neither surprised nor disappointed, what I really want to do is work for the Derby University, any job there would do. I don’t know why but I got an obsession with the University but I think it might have something to do with me wanting to study so badly. I know I should enrol now while I am still reasonable young but with Liam being a student already I am the one that brings in the money and makes living here in England a bit bearable. I don’t mean that England is horrible it is just really expensive. If I go to University we would have no money at all and I like the visits to my family.

I am completely into Dexter at the moment, it is a brilliant show. Season 1 is ok but season 2 is really picking up the pieces, it is becoming quite interesting. I had a wonderful lazy day today, watching Dexter and even read a bit in the little book about psychology I have. It is really good and interesting, I cannot wait to start this course, I like reading up about it and do a sort of self study. I just feel a bit lost without any specific tasks; know which bits of all the information that is out there regarding psychology. I need to know which information I need to keep in my head for this.

I picked up my gorgeous little (big) laptop bag, I love it much. I got the army green bag and the little ‘drawing’ on it is in gold. All my stuff fits in it and well, I have to admit it some time. Hi all, I’m Tanith and I have a bag addiction. I have at least 5 other bags here in the house, and that is after a big clean out. No big brands or really expensive bags, just lots of them in all shapes and forms.

I hope to hear something from the company where I went for an interview last Wednesday. I cannot get over this English rudeness of not getting back to you after a letter, email or even an interview. As non-English I always believed that English people are really polite but I had to reconsider that though so fast when I arrived here. I am not talking about the annoying chav’s everywhere, every country has it own ‘chavs’. It is really weird, I worked at 3 different companies and send out lots of applications but professionalism is really hard to find here for some odd reason. Let’s just hope that company gets back to me tomorrow and proofs me wrong.

Planet me

2009-01-29T20:44:00.000Z

Do you ever get lost in your own little world? I am lost and stuck, I want to do so many things but have no idea where to start and how to start. I got a book about psychology, a real study book, from Liam’s step mom who actually studied Applied Psychology. I found a nice study online which I am going to take as soon as I got a new permanent job but thanks to this book I really want to start with a sort of ‘self study’ until I found this permanent job *still fingers crossed*. It would be amazing to get the basic knowledge in my head and fly through this course. Unfortunately it is only study material and there are no tasks or assignments in there. I always find studying with a specific goal easier then just reading a load of text. I best stop typing and start studying, right?

Another thing I really would like to do is to write a short story, but whenever I try I cannot even make a little column! I just do not have any inspiration at all for any of that unfortunately. Although I do have enough and plenty fantasy to read books and totally imagine myself in the story and get lost in the most pretty surroundings the writer is trying to tell me. Maybe I do got enough inspiration but when push comes to show my ‘writer’s block’ kicks in. This is good though, whenever somebody asks me what sort of job I have, I can say I am a writer, suffering from a writer’s block! Would they believe me?

No news yet from the company but hopefully they will get back to me tomorrow. It would be so wonderful if I could leave the place I work now. I spend more time there then anywhere else and I really want to go to a place where I will be respected for what I do instead of mocked. It nearly feels like I am back in school, even though I didn’t get mocked, teased or ridiculed there. I am trying to talk to Liam about this but he doesn’t understand. Everybody loves him, he is funny, smart and very easy going. I do not consider myself as a difficult person and I’d like to think that I can be funny sometimes. It’s just a lot harder living in a different culture then I thought.

Tomorrow I am going to pick up my awesome amazing laptop baggy together with Liam and after that we are going for a nice meal. This will be either a celebration meal or a comfort meal as they promised to ring me tomorrow regarding the interview. I am looking forward to our nice meal; I enjoy being with Liam and doing these sort of things. Unfortunately we don’t do them enough, but we’re getting there. Right, so still fingers crossed and hope for the best. We can use the extra money and we can both use me being a bit happier in general.

Crossing fingers

2009-01-28T19:31:00.001Z

The interview went well, the people were very nice but for some odd reason I do not have a good feeling about this. I do want this job so bad though, it pays good, it is even closer to home then my old job, in the middle of the centre which is awesome! Plus the fact that I really cannot wait to get out of this job, I made up my mind, I hate it there. Lets just cross our fingers, and hope for the best.

I am loving this mini pc/notebook. I ordered a laptop bag for it, really nice but wasn’t home when they delivered it so I have to go into town and pick it up which is a blooming nightmare. Last time I had to pick up a package I had to wait for 30 minutes, but hey, it’s worth it!

Thanks to this little notebook I am hoping to post more entries more regularly, at the moment I am typing this on our comfy sofa while watching X-files, might as well do something fun during the commercial breaks. I love the X-files, I never watched all series though, I stopped watching when the guy that plays Mulder (Yes I know he has a name, David something, cannot be bothered to look it up lol) stopped in the show. Now the movie is out I have to watch them all though, I want it to make sense when I watch it! Anybody else who is into fantasy and odd stories that they are showing?

Lucky?

2009-01-27T22:16:00.002Z

The wonders of a mini laptop, also known as a notebook. I still have to get used to the keyboard as the keys are just a bit smaller and typing in bed is not the most comfortable thing I ever done. After having a really bad cough for over 5 days I am finally feeling a bit better and went back to work this morning, BIG mistake. Notes pilled up my desk and being absent for 3 working days is good for over 90 emails. I wish I stayed home, they do not pay me enough to stress out.

All this has a good note though; I received an email yesterday with the question if I am still looking for work. Off course I am, in June we are all made redundant due to centralisation. Thanks to this there is a stop on recruiting which is only normal, so at the moment while my job is growing and the system gets more shit, which results in more and more work for me, there is absolutely nobody around to give a helping hand and nobody will be recruited for this purpose. So big yes, I am looking for a new job asap, I cannot get along with hardly anybody in the office for reasons unknown anyway, I cannot wait to get the hell out of there before I suffer a nervous breakdown.

So tomorrow I got a job interview and I am really exited. In this climate they contacted me if I am interested in a 40 hours per week permanent job, which nutcase would not be? Wish me luck!

Diets and Roborovski's

2009-01-11T00:40:00.001Z

Christmas is gone and it is back to work, I really think I just went through on e of the busiest weeks at work and I am absolutely spent. I just have to mention my parents though. When we where over for Christmas we decided to tell them as soon as my sister arrived. After a big (and lots) of cuddles with my sisters little guy we broke the news and they were all so excited and happy and just brilliant! I had such a wonderful time, Christmas was brilliant, the food was brilliant, and everything was. I really miss everybody and everything, sometimes I wish we could go back, right now. I know I am always will be able to return whenever I want, even if I do not have the finances. My parent would be so happy that I’m returning that they would pay for everything. But to get back to the big news, my mom promised to buy me my wedding dress!! Awesome! Only 1 catch though, I have to lose some weight, 6 sizes! Well, if you seen the dress I posted earlier, I have to if I want to look amazing, which I do obviously. Diet is go!

Things are a bit rough with Liam at the moment, since we got back. We do not seem to get a single minute alone together and when we do, we don’t know what to do with it, just sitting bored on the sofa, watching some TV etc. There has never been much romance in Liam but there has been in me, and at the moment it feels like I am losing romance! He is sitting in the other room with his mates but I feel so like he is so far away from me. I’m just hoping to get some time together soon; it is not easy living with his cousin, with anybody for that matter. It seems harder and harder to get any time together and in all honestly, we are both not really helping the matters either as in making time for each other and go out and actually do something fun together.

Completely different story now though, I nearly forgot to mention that Liam and I did do something together yesterday! We went to the store and got us 2 little itty bitty Roborovski hamsters! The charge cable for our camera has gone missing unfortunately but I looked them up on the internet and posted a random pic so you get the idea how they look like. I’ve been told that it was the smallest hamster in the world (known) and they are so cute! They are really little as they are only 8 weeks old. I called mine Josephine and Liam with his silly humour called his ‘Cleopatra Nibblit the Third’. Honestly, I got to get myself a camera so I can post some pics! *Note to self*

New layout

2009-01-07T20:25:00.002Z

As I wanted to change my layout I went out to hunt and came across to what you are looking at now! I’m quite fond of it, it looks pretty good! I also updated the blog list and trying to find a few more things I can add, maybe even another blog to read if I can find the time. For now, let’s try and keep you a bit up to date, picking up where I left off.

The night before our ‘big’ journey to the Motherland we visited Liam’s mum, grandmother, brother and stepdad. After exchanging and receiving gifts (and some are absolutely gorgeous!) we gently broke down our happy news to them. Needless to say that they are very happy for us but not as enthusiastic as I thought they would be though. They are loving the ring Liam got me (Yes yes, I promise to upload a picture of it soon!) and seem happy in general, just not enthusiastic. We received a different response from Liam’s dad and stepmom though, I thought they would squeeze me so hard that I would fall broken on the floor as soon as they let me go! It feels good though, they all seem happy that I am becoming an ‘official’ member of their family and that all this even better.

Well, I think I already found my dream dress! I absolutely adore it! Behold:

What do you think?

The Naked Skier and more...

2009-01-07T19:59:00.007Z

How funny, I found out I got more readers then I thought! Before starting, fact: I only read blogs in my lunchtime at work as I never get around to it at home. So when I got back Monday I found out that Blue Soup did not make her blog public after all! Because I have not been checking her blog for a while I had some catching up to do. Today I came across this entry. I was much exited to see that her blog was back up, even though she did get boring lately with all her locked posts (which off course I am unable to read).

Apparently Blue Soup thinks I am attacking her or some sort and is in her own way trying to make fun of me and my blog. Right, let’s see if we can sort out this misunderstanding; Blue Soup, just for you: I like to inform well, my little group of readers (which I know are 2 at the moment! Maybe even more, god knows) that I was changing my layout to make room for Becky, as I mention her name and blog in my posts now and then. I also mentioned you before and that I enjoyed reading your blog as you have a good way with words. I like to inform people of changes in my blog, even though not many visit, and the reason why I am changing it because I do not want to step on any long toes. Whoops!

The only reason why I was going to remove the link to your blog is because many of your post where password protected in the end and after that you stated that your blog was going to be private, so there was not much point to display a link to your blog anymore. Yes, I am a frequent reader but I never leave any comments, therefore I did not think you would give me the password even if I requested it, so decided to stop visiting your blog.

I have to admit, I am not a big blogger and do not make many entries, but never claimed to be. This is most likely the reason why I do not have many followers, but I don’t care. There is/was no need to have a go at me and my blog like that, just because I thought you stopped blogging publicly. Also, I did not go behind your back, as I thought your blog was protected (I tried to get on several times for maybe 2 weeks after but could not) therefore I could not leave you a message, and to be honest, I did (and still do) not think you’d care. After that I went on Holiday and did not think to check before my previous entry. So there you go, no offence, but I decided to remove the link and not bother with your blog again, a win - win situation I take it.

I know this should not bother me but I thought it would be best to explain things and see if we can sort out some misunderstandings which you have seem to take rather highly.

***

Something different, I was reading the news and ran into this story. I feel pretty bad for the guy but seriously, how do you manage to get yourself in such a hilarious position! According to the news he is fine but embarrassed though, which I can imagine. Just for you, a close up!

Spreading the news

2008-12-29T21:57:00.000Z

I know I let you down; I not posted in a while. It is more than time to update my little blog and also the layout, get rid of Blue Soup unfortunately, she made her blog private and I cannot be bothered to send a little email stating that I want access; she is not that interesting. It is also more than time to put Becky up here with her story about Norway. I’m enjoying her blog very much and I hope she keeps going even though she will be back in the UK soon. Right, back to me, much happened and there will be a massive entry to cover it all, so I think it is best if I do it in bits:

Obviously I accepted Liam’s proposal and we never have been happier then now it seems. Things are coming together and after a great Christmas (details will follow) we seem more together and more in love. The first person we told was Liam’s aunty. Before we flew over to Holland we went to visit Liam’s grandmother and drop off the gifts we bought for her, Liam’s aunties and uncles and even every cousin! We thought it would be nice to get all Liam’s cousins a little something from the pound shop a nice bottle of wine for all the aunties and uncles.

It just so happened to be that one of Liam’s aunties was visiting as well, we went to the kitchen and while I opened the kitchen door to let the cat in, Liam’s auntie spotted my ring from across the room, around 3 meters away from me and noted very directly as she is: ‘Is that a wedding ring?’. I looked at Liam and he looked back, there was no point denying it, she has sharp eyes and is incredibly sweet, she would be able to keep this quiet until we tell the parents. She reacted really excited and after congratulations we talked over a few things as she just got married 2 months ago. Even though Liam and I did not go through the details ourselves yet we tried to answer as many questions as we could, and even decided a few things about the wedding then and there.

Today I have been thinking, as I bought a few stuffs for the wedding (notebook and other stuff as I am excited and want to start planning everything). I think it would be nice to make entries with all the nice things I come across and post it to you all, maybe even start a separate blog if the entries become too many! Up in the next entry: Liam’s mom, grandmother, brother and stepdad, their reaction to our wonderful news and the presents we received for Christmas.

He did it!!

2008-11-29T14:10:00.001Z

After asking me informally, saying it, talking about our future and all that, he finally did it.

I do now know who messed up, but somebody messed up Liam’s student grants, and we knew this. Liam tried to get their attention, send all the paperwork he had to the right institution but everything got send back unread, and denied his request. About a month back Liam spoke to one of his fellow classmates and he informed Liam that he was getting a lot more money than we do. This seemed really odd, as his parents earn more money, he lives together with his girlfriend who makes a lot more money than I do and even he had a really good part time job, much better than Liam.

So Liam contacted the LEA or whatever it is called, they investigated and we sound out all the information again. About a week later (whooaa!) we received a letter that they indeed messed up his grants, stating that we would get the money they owed him from last year and a bit that they still owe us for this year! I already told you that I have a new PC, which is absolutely awesome and amazing; we got some breathing space, finally.

The last 2 weeks he has been teasing me that now we have that little bit of breathing space, he bought me something special for Christmas, but I would not receive it until we were at my parents (a story for later, yes we are going to Holland for Christmas). How could he be so cruel! Stating he has something special for me, but not willing to give it to me! And to make matters worse, he ‘hid’ it in a little black bag in the drawer of his cabinet next to ‘his’ side of the bed. I knew it was in there and he forbid me to go anywhere near! Have you ever been teased like that, somebody saying there is something special for you, telling you where that special place is but not letting you anywhere near it!

I have to say, temptation was there, all the time, BUT! I made it, I did not go in that drawer and had a sneak preview, I promised and I wasn’t going to break that promise. Besides, I had an idea what it was going to be and I did not want to ruin that moment later on. Thank god that I did not go in for a sneak preview!

I was having a pretty rough week, very busy at work with a very annoying colleague sitting opposite of me and it was just horrible. Unable to get a good night rest, feeling cranky and nothing really seemed to go my way. Previous Wednesday Lee came home back from work, they asked him to do some overtime due to a big workload that came in, he had to work until 11pm. Tired as ***k as I was, I went to bed at 10 and fell asleep. Liam knows I cannot sleep very well until I know he is home save. I know, it sounds really bad and way too clingy, but I like my man home save, especially with his mate who was driving him home being an absolute maniac on the road!

Liam came up and woke me, saying that he is home save; he sat down on the bed and turned around to give me a really nice cuddle, giving me a nice gentle kiss. At this stage I was so happy to see him (as I did not all day) that I forgot all about my days being shitty. In his hand he had a little box, I did not even realise he had it until he gently opened it, I was a bit drowsy as I just woke up but when my sight cleared I saw the most beautiful golden ring with a lovely diamond on it. ‘Jo’ he said gently ‘will you marry me’.

Mass Effect

2008-11-09T21:37:00.001Z

It is weird how a game can effect so many things, like longing for romance in my case. I’ve been playing Mass Effect and just finished it. The story line is amazing and even though it is an RPG you can develop a romance with one of your crew. I love games, I love RPG’s and I love FPS but this game has a hold on me. I know there will be a Mass Effect soon and hopefully I can sort of pick up where we left off.

After finishing the game I googled the game and it turnes out that it is actually based on a book! I am quite curious and might end up buying this book. The second book is out since this summer as well! I am not sure if I want to read that one just yet as I first want to play the game, the book might give away to much which would be a pitty.

Obviously I picked a female character and developed a romace with Kaiden (one of my crew). The flirting and eventualy the getting together (no, you don’t see anything in the game and you dont have to, at least for me, it is about the romance). I just loved that going in circles with the characters and the flirting, and just realised, I miss that. Liam is not much of a romancer and he never will be, I just miss the exitment of flirting, seeing where you end up if you persue and everything with it. Kind off silly though that it takes a silly game to realise how much I actually miss it. I need to get out more, get some friends and maybe encourage Liam to be a bit more... romantic. I have to say, all the encouragement so far and even saying it blunt did not go well, infact, it didn’t lead to anything...

A little confidence…

2008-11-04T13:35:00.000Z

Hey there hansom, I know university is really hard in this second year, a lot of new things to learn and they are not easy. I know you’re scared of failing, but trust me, believing that you can make it through is half the job done.

I just have to let you know that you are one of the smartest persons I know, still a few bits and bobs to learn about life in general but so smart. Even though you make a few mistakes here and there, that’s how we learn.

You have a brilliant mind, you attack the internet to absorb any information you can find about anything that remotely interests you, and what is even more amazing, is that you remember it too!

I know you can do it, I believe in you and I am more then happy to be your coffee lady when you are so busy studying or trying to solve another problem you stumbled into. I moved from Holland to England to be with you while you are doing this course, mainly because I just want to be with you, and I also believe in you. I know you can do this and I am 100% behind you, always.

Good news always accompanies bad news

2008-11-02T17:52:00.000Z

We received great news! Liam is a student in his second year and we found out (Thank you LEA!) that they messed up his grants! To make a very long story short, we received a lot of money and as I posted before, I got a brand new shiny PC now! I also got accepted unofficially by the course leader to do Psychology online which I am so thrilled about and I cannot wait to start. I am just hoping there will be grants available to pay for it as I do not have a spare penny to pump into it. I am sure there is something we can do about that, if not, it will have to be put on hold for now.

The bad news... All personnel in our office was called to the board room. Sat here was our financial director who was running our department in Derby. She had a worried face and we all froze thinking 'this cannot be good'. And it wasn't. The company I work for has several divisions and she notified us that they were going to centralize, meaning that our office most likely is to be closed in June next year.

The good news about this is that I have around 9 months to find a new job, the sooner the better because I really do not want to stick around. I was feeling really bad for the people that worked there over 5 years, most people started crying after it sunk in. We have a lovely lady in our department (sitting opposite of me) and she worked here for nearly seven years. She just turned 60 and is close to retirement. Nobody is willing to take on somebody that old who only needs 1 or 2 more years before she can retire. I felt really bad for them, personally I did not really care. I've been thinking a lot recently about changing jobs, I just did not want to do it just yet, but that all changed now.

I do not mind looking for a new job, I got all the time I need, no hurries and well, even though I am going to miss quite a few people and the relaxed office atmosphere I know there is something much better out there and I intent to find it! I might even try to get a job with Derby university administration team, which would be so awesome! With time comes the right job, I'm not worried, it is not really bad news, it's just sad news.

And the nightly sky lit up

2008-11-02T17:27:00.000Z

It was cold, I think it was even snowing at some stage, my Liam and I snuggled together, standing in the middle of a field surrounded by hundreds of other people. Nobody talked, nobody knew what to expect, we all waited full expectation.

Then it started, small at first, nothing mayor but still beautiful, the sound was deafening when the big ones came. Red, Purple, Bright white, Blue, Yellow, Green, all the colors you can imagine, they had it. We all forgot about the snow, the very soggy field where you shoes sunk in 3 inches deep, we all watched amazed to this beautiful, spectacular display. I love bonfire night!!

Shiny and new!

2008-10-29T13:41:00.001Z

My new machine

I am so proud… Ordered and awaiting delivery next Friday:

Sony DRU-190S 20X DVD±RW DL & DVD-RAM Serial ATA - Retail Multi Bezel & Nero
Maxtor STM3250310AS 250GB SATAII 8MB Cache – OEM
Kingston 2gb (2x1gb) Ddr2 1066mhz Hyperx Memory Cl5(5-5-5-15)
AMD Phenom X4 9750 2.4GHz Socket AM2+ 2MB L3 Cache Retail Boxed Processor ASUS HD 4850 512MB DDR3 Dual DVI HDCP HDTV out PCI-E Graphics Card
MSI K9A2VM-FD 780V Socket AM2+ onboard Graphics 8 channel audio mATX Motherboard
Sumvision 650W PowerX PSU SATA , 2x PCI-E 20+4pin
Coolermaster Elite 330 Black Mid Tower Case - No PSU

Bring on COD 4 and Red Faction 3! I am ready!

*sniff* so proud…

To learn or not to learn...

2008-10-14T13:36:00.001+01:00

I’ve been to the university open day, and I got quite some information from it, even the course leader’s email address which hopefully comes in very handy. I’m also going to sign up with the library and get a few books there. Before I sign up I think it might be a good idea to actually get a book to (lets go fancy!) ‘Introduce me to psychology’. I decided to go for psychology as human (and animal) behavior always interested me and well, to be honest, I just want that BSc behind my name as well! I just want to study as I mentioned numerous times before and I hope I finally getting the change now, if the government is so kind to fund me a little bit (a lot) haha!

So if everything goes well, (the government supporting me with some wonderful funding which I would be very grateful for and off course the will power I have (at the moment I have to add) to finish this course and be the best there ever was), I hope to strike something off my ‘bucket list’. I just realized though, there is another thing I can strike off! I got a reader for my blog! I have to apologize to her though, I had a quick look on her blog but not been reading posts yet etc, so this weekend when I have a little bit of time I’ll dive into this (House can wait) and get up to date with Norway. Promise.

So, all in all I am much exited to start my new ‘online’ course if I can get in that is. I only have a high school diploma from Holland which is a system that works differently then the English system so I am not even sure if I can get in. However because I am 25 I might have the life experience. Moving countries and trying to build up a life there, do you think that would count as life experience?

Updates, as promised!

2008-10-06T13:48:00.002+01:00

Ok, so here is the deal; I did not have time to post anything but I did type out a few stories, so I do apologize if there are lots of posts on one day, I promise you, they were not all written on the same day, just posted!

It is extremely busy here at work, at the moment I am working with 4 different main systems (as we are changing over) and a few little ones around the side. It’s an absolute menace! Also because most of the system did not transfer over to the new system, meaning everything has to be logged again, double. Absolutely brilliant. But as I had a rant post before this one I decided to make this a happy post!

It is pretty sad but I actually had to think what kind of happy things were going on lately. Well, Liam and I decided to definitely move out next summer, no more Erm! Another one of Liam’s mate, really nice and happy chap and we get along just fine, is our next candidate. I make it sound so horrid, don’t I? Trust me; I am not a bad person, just a bit picky and protective over my stuff. Anyways, we want to move out, its unbearable with Erm, even though he has been alright the last couple of weeks, he is still not cleaning up anything (do not look in his room!) nor doing anything in the household. True, he is not there very often, but he does use stuff and walks around when he is there! Ah well… the end is near! Still quite some time but now I know it is ending.

I keep drifting off! Liam’s mate thinks it’s a cool idea to get a house, the 3 of us, just somewhere different, a better house. So I really hope we can pull this off, I do not like this house and I do not like our present housemate! So I hope it all works out and that I can advise you all somewhere next June that we are moving!

*~~~*~~~*

I made a decision. I am going back to school! Well, not really school, I just want to go back to learning and actually learn something. Oh uh, something? Yes I am still not sure what, although I am quite interested in Psychology and those subjects. The reason is that I really do not want to keep doing this. I finally worked myself up in the office environment and then suddenly kicked all the way down again to being a mere administrative assistant. This is obviously my fault, I do not have any papers that work in my advantage (or papers that work in my disadvantage but hey!) and I decided to move to England. So back on the bottom of the office ladder I go.

I also started thinking about our future, I want to be able to do something besides being a mom (not just jet! Many years in the future) and taking care off the kids. When Liam is off working and making it able for us to live and have kids and everything, I want to do something as well, not to big, something small, like a little office at home which doesn’t mean I have to go anywhere for a job and it pays damn good.

My list clearly says that I want a degree in ‘something’ and at the moment I am just very hard working towards what I really want to do. I just really want to be able to be my own boss later on and only do a few hours in the week until I am able to do more (like when the kids are to school or something and I got a bit more free time on my hands haha). I just really want to do something and to learn something constructive which I can use to help Liam with paying the mortgage and everything else, make it possible for us to go on a nice holiday and to go visit my parents maybe a bit more often. I just have to focus on what I actually want to do and what I can do; it is all a bit expensive but after looking around I found out that I might receive a student grant here and there so we will have to see if I can actually pull this off. Would be great!

Poor?

2008-10-06T13:45:00.000+01:00

I can’t believe it! I actually got a reader for my blog, it is amazing! Yes I know I get a bit over exited but I thought that hardly anybody would be interested in my boring stories and my boring style of writing. Anyways, a big thanks to Becky for leaving me a really nice comment.

Thanks to Becky I realized that an update regarding our situation and life is more then overdue. Liam is doing fine; I don’t think he has a big addiction problem. He lost some money and panicked, tried to win it back and lost even more. That is all behind us now and we are trying to start over. ‘Trying?’ I can hear you think… Yes, trying. It was going pretty well until Liam’s old boss decided to mess up his wages.

Let me just first explain what happened in the last few weeks. Liam and I obviously had some fights, but we also had great moments, the shared feeling of pulling through a really difficult time together and still standing, perhaps even stronger then ever. We had a really hard time getting by, with no money and all that but we managed! I think Liam understands how much he hurt me when he took all my money and gambled it away, but even if he doesn’t, I know he won’t do it again. I made it very clear that he can make this mistake but not twice. But there is always sunshine even when it is blocked by clouds, we made it through; we’re still together and still very much in love.

The other events during that time include a wedding (she was gorgeous!), a new fridge and some other boring stuff, nothing that is worth mentioning. I might however spend a post about the wedding, I love Liam’s family and a few really nice things happened which I want to share, but not just now (this is a rant post!)

Were was I… ah! Liam’s old work… Somehow they managed to sign him off from working with them at the 6th of July 2008. We all know that what happened did not happen in July! He didn’t quite in July, but on the 6th of September! So now the tax office is taking money back from his wages, he is paid incorrectly and we’re messed up again for another month! They paid around half what he is supposed to get! During our *dry spell* we set up a lovely budget for us to hold on to and follow but there is no way we can keep up now, so back in stress we are… I thought living in Holland was sometimes difficult but living in England is sometimes even harder. So here we go again, another month of doing nothing but sitting then sitting at home, no spare pound for a nice drink somewhere in town. I’m starting to feel trapped, stuck and all that, and it is even worse for Liam, he is now back at Uni and can not even go for a nice drink with his mates. I hope this all changes soon; I’m fed up with this poor financial situation.

Liam actually heard something on the news which was quite shocking. Apparently your poor when you are under the poverty line à Meaning à If you have less then 10 pounds to spend per person per household after the housing costs. *raises hand* that’s us alright… I am officially poor!

Rough patch

2008-09-09T13:49:00.000+01:00

Liam ‘celebrated’ his last day at work last Saturday. He is so happy that he doesn’t have to go back there, and I have to admit, I am happy as well. It does leave me quite scared though, he does not have a new job yet and I am not sure if I can support us two. I do not make that much money (and even though I am hoping to get a different function therefore a big raise, it is not there yet, and I doubt my boss sees me in that position as he did not reply to my email yet) so it leaves me quite scared, we have to give up a lot for his mistakes. At first I had to give up my flat, my wonderful cats and a tight relationship with my family because he wanted to go to university in England, as the uni Holland did not accept him.

It just seems now and then that I have to give up more and more and so far did not receive much in return yet. I mean, if you don’t count Liam himself and our relationship. We are damn good together and I know we can sort it all out, it just scares me sometimes, am I giving up to much, when is it my turn? Selfish, I know, but even my bonus from work goes mainly to him because he needs a new computer for his course. My PC has been shit for a few months now but I can do nothing about it, because there is no money. When there is finally some money coming in, it is going somewhere else… I really do not want to be selfish, but it is ok to think about myself for once, isn’t it?

I do have to mention though, that he is paying quite a bit into the council tax so a new PC for him is more then fair. It is just everything together which is getting to me a bit. I had to sell off all my ‘old’ jewelry, for scrap gold. It made some money and when we finally give up smoking we can make it through this month without borrowing from somebody. I made it perfectly clear that he has to repay this though haha, not in money but in new, gorgeous jewelry. It might take a few years but I am sure he will keep to that.

When I found out what happened and what was going on with Liam I told him, there is never an easy way. That seems, now more then ever, so true. We will get there, eventually, someday. A lucky break would be nice though.

Dear Boss,

2008-09-02T13:38:00.001+01:00

I know we talked (emailed) before about me taking a course. I found a course online which I think might be very beneficial regarding my role here within Speedy Lifting. As you know I'd like to move forward and I believe that this course will help me with that.

http://www.elearnuk.co.uk/detc/101/34/Credit+Control+%28Skills+Course%29

I was wondering if Speedy Lifting would put any funding towards this, if not I have to pay for it myself. I really would like to move forward within Speedy Lifting and now 2 people are leaving us shortly for maternity leave I am hoping that I am able to do so and that you feel the same way. I am looking forward to your response.

I send this out yesterday and did not receive a reply yet, will he bite?

Moving on...

2008-09-01T13:44:00.001+01:00

It is all a bit calmer now, lots of things have been talked over and feelings exchanged. We both feel a lot better and working on the future. It is going to be difficult but we can do it. It has been a draining weekend and even though I feel a bit better now, I’m still so tired, I feel like I could sleep for over a week.

Liam doesn’t have the “urge” to do any gambling, not even when he was working. Yes, he did quite, but has a week notice so he is stuck there for a few more days and then that’s it. I’d say that he is doing pretty well and all isn’t as bad as it looked at first. I’m just happy to have him back, my man, how he was. Now we know what the matter is we can work it out, together.

Nobody else knows about this besides a few people from my work, and we would like to keep it like this. Like I said before, if my parents even sniff a bit off what is going on around here they will come and get me, drag me back to Holland. Don’t get me wrong, their absolutely fantastic and care about me very much (obviously), I just don’t want to leave.

Sometimes I feel like I should, to make it easier for Liam. But would it be easier for him? As for myself, I don’t want to leave him alone, just because it is getting a bit though now. I really do feel that we can make it, him and me. Have a family and grow old together, I’ve been told that’s rare and have to admit, I never felt like this before for any other person, I want to spend the rest of my live with him, with his twinkling eyes and cheeky smile. He’s mine and I’m his.

*~~~*~~~*

On a bit of a lighter note, I am trying to convince my boss to hire me as a credit controller, change from this low administrators assistant job and get a bit higher up, maybe even some more pay as well. Would be good, we could need it right now. I also found a little online course for £60 to go with it. How to be a credit controller, it is only one module of a bigger course: This course is accredited by ASET and comprises one module of the Certificate in Business Skills award. So I will just go for this one and maybe someday finish the whole thing, would be nice to have a sort of diploma of something. Business skills, me… ^-^

Life changer

2008-08-31T16:36:00.002+01:00

Well.. I changed my blog name and everything with it. Something drastic happened that changed my live around. THe only person I could trust here in England, the only person I could tell anything and trust with anything betrayed me. Let me throw in some background for you first:

Laim, my partner, the love of my life is a university student. To get us by, he has a part time job at the bookies here in Derby. He spends his time there for 20 hours a week, and making a pretty good living for just a part time job next to university. To keep the slow hours in the office go by a bit more quickly he would often put a pound on a doggy or a hourse. Turns out that he put a lot more then just a pound on a doggy or horse. And a few days ago, he really went overboard. I got my wages in on the 26th, I dont get paid much, but enough to get us by. After 2 days Liam wasted 725 pounds of my wages. Trying to get back what he lost earlier.

He has been restless for the past days, unable to sleep and wondering around the house for ages, keeping me awake. On Friday morning, 6am I woke up and realised Liam still didn't came to bed, so I called out and he shouted back from down stairs. I asked him to come up and when he finally did he sat on the edge of the bed;

Me: "Come in to bed sweety, I'd like a nice cuddle before I have to head off to work."
Liam: "You don't want to hug me after you hear what I have to tell you."
Me: "What's wrong?" (unsettled by the tone of his voice)
Liam: "I have a gambling addiction."
Me: "What?"
Liam: "I just wasted nearly all your wages in 2 days, trying to get back what I lost earlier."
Me: ... "How much?"
Liam: "I think you have about £150 left in your account"
Me: "So my bank card wasn't lost? You had it all this time?"
Liam: "Yes, it is downstairs."
Me: "Owh my..."
Liam: "I know."

The rest went really fast, I went to work after telling Liam all was fine, that we would work it out. Took all his bankcards, and mine, all his change, everything. I am glad he confessed and trusted me with this, before it got even more out of control. He hurt me deeply, I can not trust him no more, my solid rock changed into water overnight. I took the afternoon off work, told my boss everything, I had to confide in somebody, and I needed the rest of the day off, tell Liam how I really felt about all this. They were very supportive, giving me off all the time I need to try and sort this out, trying to get an advance in wages for me, giving tips and advice, they are being really sweet, I am stunned.

Me and Liam talked things over, made calculations how we can best manage the rest of our money, how to get by. I told him how I felt; betrayed, lost and very dissapointed. He understands and knows that he can not have any money, any control over his (or mine for that matter) bank account and everything that comes with it. I still feel lost, betrayed and abbandoned. We will work things out but it is going to be difficult.

Liam quit his job yesterday, with 1 weeks notice. I hope he will be alright in there, so close to temptation even though he doesn't feel like gambling anymore, as now he confessed everything to me. I just can not trust him and that makes this the worst part. I knew I was practically alone here in England, with only Liam as my comfort, my light, now I feel like I am all alone. I can not tell my parents, ask them for help and advice, they will get the first plane and kidnap me, bring me back to Holland. It is going to be difficult, but we can handle it, we will manage it and maybe one day I can trust him again.

So yes, I wont be a gaming girl for quite a while to come, I can not afford a new pc or any new parts for quite some time. I'll just be plain ol' Tanith, even more boring without her games.

Wanting to move forward to fast?

2008-08-20T13:31:00.000+01:00

How can I be so exited about a normal excel training. The company were I work for offered an excel training for the people who wanted it, so I am going! This Friday I got the first one, intermediate they call it. I had a quick look at what they are going through in that 1 day, but it seems like I know most of the stuff. I just want the certificate that comes with it so I can show my future bosses that I know the program and that I can do all this stuff! Maybe that’s why I am exited, I do not have many papers and this was I can prove that I know it.

There are 2 credit controllers going out soon for pregnancy leave and I really hope I can squeeze myself in to take over their ledgers, or you know, from one of those two. The wages are a lot more and let’s face it; Liam and I can really use that raise that comes with the job, also because we do not want to live in this damn house forever, next summer we’re moving out! Also, again for future bosses, credit controller looks a lot better then assistant administrator.

Logging queries is what I am doing at the moment, and sometimes helping out with cash allocations, it is so damn boring. But hey, it is my entire fault, I dropped out of college, I could not be bothered anymore. It just sometimes a bit hard, back in Holland I was about to run the department I was working in, I was told unofficially that if I had stayed, I would have been the most likely candidate for the job, to supervise and lead. Here I am, in England, starting all the way at the bottom again, sometimes makes me feel like crying. I can do so much more then this simple work but I am just not given the opportunity here. Maybe I should move on, or calm down and wait for the best?

Just another day

2008-08-18T13:50:00.001+01:00

Nothing works better then rain to give you a good depression. I think that missing all my friends and especially my family is finally getting to me a bit. I still not managed to make new friends here, but hey, I got a steady job like almost straight away and nobody here is really interesting. Off course I made a few friends through Liam but they are mainly his friends. It would be nice to have my own friend so I can tell all the annoying stuff Liam is doing without him hearing about it!

England is just weird, it is so much different then Holland. You wouldn’t think so but it is; the whole culture is different, the people are very different and sometimes it can be quite hard to work around that. Obviously I am trying to adapt and I believe that I am doing pretty well. There are limits though; I do not want to lose myself in all this false politeness (workplace) or grumpiness at home because of Erm. He is so doing my head in but hey, not long now anymore. Doesn’t matter what happens, I am so not signing up for another year with him. After this winter it is more then over, and I really do not want to see him for over a month after that! Do I have to see him at all? Yes unfortunately so, he still is Liam’s cousin.

I do have to be a bit careful though, I do not want to annoy Liam to much with me not getting along with Erm, he knows this and if I keep bugging him with this it might just push him away from me. It is just a bit difficult you see, he is the only one I can really talk to.

*~~~*~~~*

We decided to go to a car boot sale next Sunday, should be quite interesting. He heard somewhere that a couple went to car boot sales for cheap stuff, sold them on through EBay and earned their mortgage payment with! So obviously Liam though this might be a good idea and so we are off to a car boot sale. It might work, it might fail horribly, it will be fun to try though. I love car boots anyway, I once saw a guy on TV who bought a bracelet for his girlfriend for a pound, cheap ugly thing. I do not know how they found out but that that bracelet was 18 Karat gold and the 25 medium sized fake diamonds were real! He bought for 1 pound a bracelet that was worth around 1000 pounds! Now, the changes of that happening to me are very slim, but hey, you never know, maybe I find an original Van Gogh or something.

More and more holidays! Never enough though...

2008-08-06T13:53:00.000+01:00

It has been a while, another holiday? Yes indeed. My cousin came over from Holland. What was supposed to be a long weekend became 10 days. Now don’t get me wrong, my cousin has a heart of gold, just a really big yap to go with it. 10 days was just too long haha. But we had fun, did lots of stuff and it was actually quite good. The best part was that I get to spend a lot of time with Liam as well.

We did lots of things; we went to a tattoo convention with over 100 artists coming from all over the world. My cousin actually got a tattoo on her foot, she already has a few tattoos and this was the most painful apparently. As it was steaming hot outside and with her foot that she gave no change to heal she pretty much screwed up her holiday. I wanted to take her everywhere, show her how beautiful England can be (as long as you don’t live in the city haha), but thanks to her foot we could hardly go anywhere; she could not walk for very long.

We did do a few things but nothing to write home about. We also went out a few times, but geez, Derby is boring! There are a few nice pubs around but so far I not been in a pub or club yet that makes me in a good mood straight away. You know what I mean, some gorgeous place where you hear the music and you get this “vibe”. I miss that here.
But in the end it was quite a good holiday, off course there was some annoyance from Term but meh, that always seems to be the case, and I annoyingly got used to it.

*~~~*~~~*

I can not wait till I am able to get my new machine, however I’ve been thinking as well, maybe I’ll just leave it and get myself a laptop. I don’t really miss gaming at the moment, but I do believe that is more due to the fact that there are not really amazing new games out. I do miss playing Guild Wars though, and even the Sims 2 which I play now and then (I like to cheat, get lots of money and decorate! How girly of me).

We all know that a laptop is just shit for gaming so I don’t know. Maybe in the far future I’ll have both one day, a gaming PC and a laptop for all my other projects! Which reminds me, I still need to get office 2007 *makes note*.

This is just typical me, I got loads of ideas but none actually come out. I really should write them all down and cross them off as I go, if I go at all.

Gamers Girl?

2008-07-11T13:42:00.000+01:00

I know, I know. My blog says gamer’s girl. Where are the bloody games? Well I have to inform you all that my pc sort of decided to die a little and slow, bit by bit. My graphics card was the first one to go; all other bits are decided to be dodgy as well. I can not wait for my bonus so I can buy a new one, a good new one! I got the specs here somewhere, as soon as I found them again I’ll post them, to see what you think!

It is very annoying; I do have a different graphics card in there right now, but no money to buy a really good one, so it is shit and borrowed! I’m longing to play Guild Wars again thanks to an episode of NCIS I watched the other day. Remember that longing I had to play GTA San Andreas? Well that’s what happening again now, but this time for Guild Wars. The annoying part is that because this stupid machine is so outdated that I can not do anything, I left it for way to long.

So ye, at the moment I am stuck with the first rollercoaster tycoon, which isn’t that bad but very much boring after a while. Fortunately it also runs Wild West Tycoon (boring I know, I just love to play it now and then. It is just too bad that it’s JoWood), and Dungeon Keeper II! I adore DK2, I just wish with all the technology we have now that they will make a DK3! It is more then time and come on, the game is brilliant!

For the people who don’t know what games I am talking about, I will post someday soon the full details of these games and I might even add some pictures!

When I get my new machine I will get some awesome games. I mean Red Faction 3 is coming out soon and I was reading some game magazine Liam bought a few days back and there is an awesome game coming out really soon. The 3 pages review really tickled my gaming bone and I can not wait to play it! Unfortunately I temporarily forgot the name for it but as soon as I figure it out I will let you all know.

*~~~*~~~*

It is quite funny; I keep talking like I actually got any readers. I know my writing doesn’t appeal to everyone but I at least hope to have one or two ‘blog fans’. Why? I would like to know your opinion. Off course it is always good to know that people actually like reading about your ups and downs. I do believe that my writing skills have upgraded a little bit, but I can still tweak myself a little bit more here and there, I guess I can be quite boring haha.

Holiday Part deux

2008-07-10T13:52:00.001+01:00

The rest of our vacation was pretty standard, my mom and I went shopping, and Liam went with us as carrier haha. I got some lovely clothes and I’m very pleased.

We also went to visit my grandmother, and she gave me a big scare. She has been really sick for a few weeks and looked just dreadful. I love her to bits I do, best grandmother ever. She is sweet, caring and wonderful to talk to, very intelligent. We went to visit her again the night before we left and she looked a lot better. I guess I have been thinking about it without really realizing it my whole holiday, because I felt much better and cheerier when we left.

We also went fishing and even got us a few fishing stuff to take home with us! So if we want to we can throw our lines into the river Derwent or something like that and see if we can catch anything. The reason why we went fishing in Holland is because we like it, off course, but also to fill the little stream next to my parent’s house with fish. They got a gorgeous little stream next to their house and a little sit next to it so we fill it up with fish so they can sit there and watch them… or something like that… I don’t know, I just like to go fishing haha. Liam got a major sunburn the first time we went fishing and now I am paying the price… skin everywhere!

For the rest of our vacation we took it easy, didn’t do much special things besides visiting the Zoo which was unfortunately not very good. It was to busy and you could hardly see a thing through all the people. I love that zoo and was really bummed that we could hardly see the animals which we came to see. But all with all we had a pretty good time. I had my hair done somewhere in that week, we went shopping some more off course and obviously we visited my sister and her special little guy nearly every day.

So that is basically our holiday, nice and easy, relaxing and lots of sun! Off course we had a nice BBQ as well, but nothing really spectacular happened.

There is much more to tell on how we returned to our house and what happened there! But that is for a different entry. Come on you must agree, my live is pretty dull isn’t it?

Holiday!

2008-07-09T13:37:00.001+01:00

It has been a while and I apologize, I had one of the best vacations ever! I was just way to busy to make a blog entry. I had 2 weeks off work, first week we didn’t do overly much, me and Liam. Just sitting at home being a bit lazy, getting our stuff ready for the second week of our vacation, Holland!

I know that Holland doesn’t sound like an amazing holiday destination but to me and even to Liam it was. We off course visited my parents, but most importantly we visited my sister and her little boy. He is absolutely gorgeous! He already smiles a bit, he is so cute!! We had to get up dead early and we were so tired. Lee did not sleep all night because he was afraid that we wouldn’t wake up on time as we had to get up dead early in the morning and I only had like 3 hours sleep. Our transport to the airport was sleeping on our sofa.

So when we arrived in Holland we jumped in the car, brought all our junk to my parents where we got stuck. I wanted to go straight through to my sister but my mum wanted to have some lunch first, so we had lunch first. Also I had to look at the new puppy first! He is a devil he is! Very cute and only 9 weeks, but knows what he can and can’t do. As soon as you tell him off or start to tell him off he looks at you with his big puppy eyes and you feel like if you stay mad at him that you will be send to hell! He’s adorable, I love puppies.

Then we finally set off to my sister, I was quite exited. First thing we see when we come in are 5 adorable little kittens! My sister send her cat to the ‘man’ and the timing was so bad that I think that my sisters and the cats delivery were day’s apart haha! But they were so cute, more stories about them later I think, let’s first concentrate on the special little guy.

It was so weird, I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him, I felt all warm inside when my sister passed him over to me, this little bundle of joy is my little nephew! Even though he has been asleep for several hours while we were there (he didn’t even wake up when he was fed and changed!!) it was a wonderful experience and it really made me so happy.

I will continue with our holiday update in a later post!

Alienated

2008-06-15T18:45:00.000+01:00

You know, the reason why we got a cat is because I nagged Liam to get me one, I needed company when he is not here. I am getting more and more uncertain if moving to England was a good idea. I love Liam and I want to be with him, no matter what. I am just missing my friends, my family. I had always something to do back in Holland; even if I stayed a day in there was a load that I still needed to watch, or cuddle with one of my cats or simply some cleaning up. Sit on my balcony enjoying the sun, reading a book, name it.

This cat is evil, yes it can be cute now and then, but he sheds like crazy. Evil ginger hair everywhere! I have no friends here in England, I tried to make some but so there is nobody that just goes *click*. Yes, friendship has to go click for me, like love needs to go *click* for me. Liam is doing his best but I just feel lonely here.

Even if I had a friend, I couldn’t invite them over, or go out. Thanks to Liam and Erm not doing anything in the household, it pretty much consumes my weekend. Maybe I am just bummed out that I still not hold my little nephew yet but recently I just feel… unsatisfied. In my work, in my social live, in watching Holland play with no back up, spirit surrounding me.

I normally don’t really like football, but when Holland plays, it is like the whole country coming together, drinking beer or wine, going out watching the match on TV and ranting when we should have gotten a penalty. It is just the vibe that is coming off people, the togetherness we normally do not have in Holland. I never thought I say this but I miss the damn flat place.

I even miss my job, that’s why I am so unsatisfied; there is nothing in my work that makes me happy. Not like with my old job. Sure it was nothing special, working on the distribution site of Philips house supplies but it made me happy, the place made me happy, the people made me happy. I feel like I do not belong where I work now. I’m not connected to anyone, I hear people ranting about problems which I can not do anything about it. I make a note in the system and that is it, although I make customers believe that I will solve their problem for them. But that is not my job…

Most of all I just miss somebody to talk to. If I tell my parents or my sister or even my brother what is bothering me, they will just say that I have to come back to Holland. But I won’t leave Liam. He makes me happy, makes me feel like we belong together and I do not want to give that up.

I am sorry that I am losing my happy *vibe* that I had going on here but hey, it is not like there is somebody to read this shit anyway. It’s my only outlet.

CHAMPIONEEEE!!!

2008-06-12T13:46:00.001+01:00

Holland won!! The first step, the first victory of many! Let’s hope so anyway, it would be nice if we got anywhere again, it has been a while. Tomorrow they are playing France, now I bet they will have it a bit more difficult against France then they had versus Italy. But I have to say, they played brilliantly the first halve, even before they scored the Italians were nowhere! Let’s all hold our breath and let our hearts cheer for Holland next Friday!!

*~~~*~~~*

Other great news, I received an email from Rolls Royce the other day, asking if I wanted to come in for an interview for an open position they have. I forgot to take my CV off the internet and now I am glad I didn’t.

So keeping it cool (Rolls Royce is a huge standard and has great ‘poshness’ in my eyes) I emailed the nice gentleman back requesting more details about the position. Now the money is very good, very very good haha. How ever the position is only temporary… So that’s unfortunately a no go. It is good to know that people are interested though, I think I’ll just leave my CV on there haha!

Finally got it!

2008-06-04T13:47:00.003+01:00

GTA San Andreas, I’m totally hooked! Not as bad as when I first got it but I’m totally into it. So is my loved one, we installed it on his machine as well, looked up the crack so he can play it without the disc and voila! Because uni is out for summer now he has a lot more free time then I do. So he is much further them I am.

But still I love it! I am now at the point where I got stuck the last time when I played this game and gave up. So when missions get really difficult I just ask my wonder boy to do it for me! It is a very good game but I still can not wait for GTA4 to come out on PC! Our roommate has it for his Xbox and it looks so damn good. Even though everything seems to be a lot harder, driving a motorbike for instance, that’s my favorite way of transport in SA. We’ll see how it goes and what it is like.

*~~~*~~~*

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but we picked up a cat from the RSPCA here in Derby the other day. Really sweet little big orange thingy called Pug, but he can be very weird and psycho! One moment he is happy on your lap trying to turn your jeans into a ginger monster, happily purring, then he goes psycho, attacking your hand that is stroking him, hissing and mad noises and then putting his claws into you and jump off your lap. Why? As far as I am aware there is absolutely no apparent reason what so ever for him to do this.

We tried everything, from a little slap on the nose (not hard but enough to let him know that what he is doing is wrong), spray him with a little bit of water and even lock him up in his carrier box. Nothing works! I wanted a sweet cat, one that if it wants a nice cuddle it will come to you and when it had enough it would walk off, and not go psycho!

When he’s sweet I really like our little Pug, but I don’t know if we can keep him how he is. I was looking for some nice company when we get a cat and he isn’t really nice company.

Our Puggy

*~~~*~~~*

We’re going to Holland soon!! Only 3 little weeks and then I have 2 weeks off! Brilliant and relaxing!! My sister gave birth to a little (well he is quite massive actually) baby boy! So for the first time I’m an auntie!! He is such a cute little fella. I can not wait to go and meet him.

Sometimes living so far away from my family really is bothering me so much, like that phone call telling me that my sister had given birth to her son. I just wanted to go over there, be there for her and give her a big hug. Tell her that she is amazing and did wonderful. I’m glad I am going to see them soon, real soon.

Weekend.. I need it!

2008-05-22T12:36:00.002+01:00

I decided to take my loved one for a fancy dinner tomorrow even though he never takes me anywhere without me nagging him about it, but hey, I feel like a nice fancy dinner with him.

I always hear woman saying that men are all the same, but that is so not true. My dad, a really manly man always takes my mother out to places, and on random occasions without anything special going on he brings her flowers and all sorts. The other day he bought her a really nice necklace.

I am glad to know that there are amazing men out there, it’s just sad to realize that the guy I am with isn’t one of them. But besides all that he is just great!

*~~*~~*

I can not wait to play GTA3 San Andreas this weekend. We got GTA4 for the Xbox but I just do not like consoles. I can’t work with them! Maybe after a lot of practice I could finally manage to drive down a road without crashing into anything but that’s just no fun.

So with lack of a good pc and GTA4 released on pc I turn back to San Andreas. I wish I just could remember what happened to my disc so I wouldn’t have to buy it again! But hey, moving always makes you lose stuff somehow.

*~~*~~*

It’s going to be a busy weekend. Friday I’m taking my babes out for a nice meal and on Saturday the madness begins! I need a haircut, and I’m crossing my fingers, hoping it will turn out alright, I need new shoes… and eh… that’s it! Not that big of a madness but hey. I also need to find a fruit stand, I decided to eat more fruit and not just apples or something like that, no more exotic fruits, all sorts off! I’m going healthy! I also need some eatable nice recopies for salads and other healthy food, so if you got some, please share!!

Lazy

2008-05-21T12:59:00.000+01:00

Ok ok, I apologize. It is not like I’ve been busy, not at all! I just really could not be arsed to write something. Well in all honesty, it is a bit busy at work and normally I write all my entries at work. Ah well, lets just try this again, maybe even get some readers!

Someday soon I will place my new future machine here, which I am going to buy somewhere in December. I know it does sound very far away but then I’m getting my bonus from work! So some extra cash (a lot) for the Christmas shopping and a little something very nice for me! Something like a quadruple processor, 4gb ram and a really nasty graphics card. Why?? I want to run the new GTA4 when it comes out on pc, and it will do, no option there. There are a lot of new games coming which I just want! So I need a good pc to make up for it. The games: GTA4, Guild Wars 2 (I think this will run on the pc I got at the moment as well but you know, why not!) and off course the new Red Faction when it finally comes out.

But that is for later, as for now I so want to play GTA3 San Andreas again and thanks to a little bonus from my boss this financial year (only on contract for 1 month but still very nice and generous!) I can pick this up. Already found out where I can get one so that’s good, also it’s a sort of sale option, buy 2 games for £25 so I thinking about also getting Black and White 2. I know, I know… old games but hey, with lack of anything better right now, and a pc with a shitty graphics card my options are sort of limited.

Don’t you ever have those crazy game cravings? Like GTA4 coming out really wants to make me go and play GTA3 San Andreas again, also thanks to GTA4 not being out for pc yet. Just a mad craving, like when you suddenly after a night out feel like a big kebab or something before you go to bed.

*~~*~~*

Ah, the story of my graphics card, my wonderful graphics card. Well, it was my wonderful graphics card when I bought it over 3 years ago. It died last weekend, my pc kept restarting when I tried to play Battlefield 2 and then it just gave up. I did a IT course a long long time ago now but unfortunately lost all my knowledge, well most of it. So when my pc even decided to start crashing by just being on desktop I decided to give our friend (the computer nerd and car geek) a little ring to come and help me out! I wasn’t panicking, I swear! I just nearly cried because my pc was going to the shitters.

I know it is a bit over the top reacting there but bear in mind that around 3 years ago when I decided to upgrade my very old machine it costs me nearly all my money to get this machine and it made me so happy for soooo long. Ah well, its just time for a new one. I got an old card from our nerdy friend, not as good as my old one but meh, I can play sims2 with it and off course my favorite game so it will do for now.

*~~*~~*

A lot more happened but that is for a different time to post, it’s long enough as it is without me actually telling anything useful.

New account, new url

2008-04-16T22:28:00.001+01:00

Yes, yet again I have created a new account, a new blog basically. I also posted all my previous post because well simply, I fucked up my old one. I destroyed the layout somehow and I can’t fix it. So instead of being difficult I just made a new one! From today I will post only on this blog, enjoy!

Red Faction 3?

2008-04-16T22:25:00.000+01:00

If you read my gaming history you probably know that I one of my favorite games a few years back was Red Faction. A great online community, made a lot of friends and I’m still in contact with some of them. Like my partner! As he is doing a game design course at Derby University he picked something up in the hall ways, and as we went to check it out on the mighty interweb we discovered the best news for this year! RED FACTION 3 IS COMING!!!!

Red faction 3? Isn’t there a Red Faction 2 then? Yes there is, but even though I never played it, it’s supposed to be pretty damn awful game but besides that, the most important bit was missing! No online multiplayer action! I found out that RF3 is going to be released on multiple platforms, and hopefully also PC (they better do!). So if it gets released on PC, which I have no doubt off to be honest, they will have a online multiplayer, they have to. RF2 turned out to be a big flop and I don’t think they got the sales out of that game what they wanted to, but hey, what do you expect with no online multiplayer these days? The game it self has to be damn good do you want it to sell without multiplayer, especially games that been released on PC.

Yes, I do admit, I am a PC girl. I don’t like consoles, although one day a long long time ago I loved playing the Nintendo 8 bit haha! I just loved it. I have to get back into CZ, I really do, got to get training for the big release of RF3, get back into the fast playing games, maybe even download the new Unreal Tournament, although RF used to be even faster then that! Lets face it, Counter Strike has a pretty slow game play.

I would just love to start up our old clan again from the old days. Even with the same clan name, and as many old members as I can find! I’m already dreaming away, I just hope some of the old guns survived part III, like the rail, my favorite weapon in Red Faction.

It’s really going to demand a lot of my PC, it’s kind off out dated, I just hope it can cope until I saved up enough to buy a new one. I need a new PC; it is just too old for the newest games. It can play them sure enough, just not on the highest settings. Let’s just first wait until the game is released before planning haha.

*~~~*~~~*

I hope our landlady doesn’t mind that we are getting some cats, we cant do it without her approval off course, but I don’t think she will overly mind. If we wanted a dog then there would be no trouble at all, she already agreed with that but we decided to put that on hold for now as nobody is home during the day. So now the idea is to get 2 lovely females (unfortunately no Egyptian Mau’s just yet) house cats (the road in front of our house is just to busy) if the land lady agrees. I miss my cats which I left behind back in Holland, they where awesome. I still regret that I left them behind, but sometimes you just have no choice…

My bucket list

2008-04-16T22:20:00.000+01:00

Now, I heard of the movie Bucket list and remembered that in a previous blog that I’ve abandoned I had my own little bucket list. So why not post it? Some goals might actually come a bit closer now, but I won’t say anything about that until it actually is going somewhere.

Behold my bucket list:

Get a degree in 'something'
Write a book
Learn Japanese
Get readers for my blog
Visit Egypt
See the Northern light
Make love under the stars
Visit 'The Black Forest'

There might be more to come, who knows? I’m still young and I want to do lots of things! If I can think of something, or run into something, this post will be updated!
*~~~*~~~*
Get a degree in ‘something’
I want to feel like I actually achieved something in my life. When I figured out what suits me, what seems fantastic and what I am good at, I want to study it and get my degree, it doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’ve been looking for internet study / home study. Psychology always interested me, part time study takes almost 8 years, according to the website. I don’t want to start just something; I have to be sure about myself and the subject first. I want to successfully finish what I started. From what I remember is that I don’t really have the patience to sit and study. I learn better from ‘doing’ it. I am sure that if I put my mind to it, that I can do it. But for now, let’s find out what I actually want to do.
*~~~*~~~*
Write a book
I’m working on this. No, I did not start yet. But I have a book ready to read; “How to write a damn good novel’. It has some good reviews, so when I am over in England, got a good job, settled, everything is going well, I want to start. I’m already busy with putting idea’s, which are floating around in my head, on paper. Maybe you, my faithful readers, will read a great, fantastic book one day, and find out one day that it has been written by a blogger whose posts you read.
*~~~*~~~*
Learn Japanese
Now… where did this come from you ask? I have to say, I always loved fo reign languages, always been good at it, pick up things easily and well, I only want to be able to speak and understand it. Writing is not that important but hey, if I got time left from all the other things I also want to do, who knows?! Ok ok, for real now. If you’re a reader of mine you know I watched ‘The last Samurai’ recently. I just want to learn it, it seems cool.
*~~~*~~~*
Get readers for my blog
Anybody any idea who to get more readers? Maybe I got them who knows, speak up my readers! Let me hear from you! Quite funny, I found out that JJ used to blog but stopped for some reason, maybe he just got bored of it, he just couldn’t off think why he stopped. So I advised him to start again. So I got another blog that I can read when I’m at work and bored and well, it helps to gather your thoughts through putting them on ‘paper’. He agreed so he started again as well! It’s odd how close we got in just a few days. He’s a really nice guy, a good friend. I added his links on the right, for those who are interested in his blog. But to get back to more readers, I’m already filling in the labels, so that might help. If you got any more ideas, let me know
*~~~*~~~*
Visit Egypt
Since I was a little girl Egypt always been one of my mayor interests. I don’t know where it comes from but it is so nice to hear what a wonderful civilisation they had when the rest of the world was still far behind. My love for Egypt even got bigger through reading books, watching an awesome movie called ‘Stargate’ which I bought on DVD later. Egypt has something mythical and mysterious over itself. I don’t mean the Egypt as we now know it, but the ancient Egypt. So basically, I don’t want to visit Egypt, but I want to visit the Pyramids and all the old secrets from ancient times that have to do with it
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See the Northern light
I’ve seen it a few times on TV, mostly on the Discovery Channel I think. My granddad, the first one that past away, saw it one time when he was young, in his own backyard here in the north of Holland. I don’t think I will ever be so lucky so I have to travel for it. Why do you want to see it? It is one of nature’s wonders, one of the most beautiful things you can lay your eyes on. It’s fascinating
*~~~*~~~*
Make love under the stars
Hehe, I don’t think I have to explain this one. I’m just a big fool for romance. I don’t know where, when but it will happen. I hope with L. If he is up for it!
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Visit the black forest in Germany
I’ve read a book a while back, and it just spoke to me. It is a wonderful story about Germany that wasn’t a whole country yet, but divided in little parcels of land, I think it is called a Duchy. Please correct me if I am mistaken. It is a great romance story, with a really strong plot. Unfortunately it’s been written by a Dutch author and I don’t think there are translations in the world. The book just made me want to visit one of the oldest forests in Europe, maybe even the world.

Catchin up..

2008-04-16T22:17:00.000+01:00

Been a while, time to catch up a bit! Ah… I got some nice games from my love for my birthday, how ever, the weekend before my birthday he got me CivCity Rome, and it is brilliant. I am totally addicted at the moment, I hardly play anything else then that game, correction, I don’t play anything else then that game. I never even had a change to go back to Condition Zero, which I should do, it has been to long, every progress I made with my mouse has gone now. Ah well, Rome will keep me busy for now, what ever is entertaining at the moment works for me.

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I got the newest episode for Battlestar Galactica last Sunday and we watched it yesterday, I am so happy season 4 started! I do how ever think (as many others do when you browse the interweb) that this is the last season. Would be a pity, like all good shows I don’t think it should ever end. Not after only 4 seasons anyways. On all good things comes an end I guess.

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I ordered myself a new phone, a contract phone this time. I just hate being without credit and because of that I am spending a lot of money on credit so I thought I just might as well get a contact phone. I went with Orange, something called Raccoon 35. Meaning I get 700 minutes to call and 100 txt messages free, also calling to landlines is always free. What is even better I get a brilli ant looking phone, which does all the basic stuff I need and not to much off those new technical stuff (I don’t need it, it’s a bloody phone!). Also with this deal I get an Daewoo LCD TV and a DVD player. Now we don’t need a DVD player but I looked that LCD TV up on the interweb and so far the only thing I found about the Daewoo LCD TV are a 42 and a 46 inch. Awesome!! Bring on the TV, 28 days after I connect to orange, which is hopefully tonight.

Back to..

2008-04-16T22:15:00.001+01:00

work and blogging! I had a nice and relaxeing, brilliant Easter weekend with lots of fun. My parents where over from Holland this weekend and we had a brilliant time, it was very good to see them again. Yes, I am from Holland but living in England for now. One day when I can be arsed I will put down how I ended up here, lets just say for now that Red Faction is to blame!

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I am totally addicted to a new series, well it isn’t new new, but it just caught my attention and now I can not stop watching it. Battlestar Gallactica. I do mean the new series, not the old series with Faceman in it. It’s just brilliant, fantastic story line, great actors and beautiful recordings. But nothing to much over the top, like star trek with their transporter and things. Although, please nothing bad about my beloved star trek! Ah.. I admit it, I am a big nerd, I just got no glasses and no dorky face. I dress stylish and I got I consider myself lucky with a few good friends around me. So well, where does this sci-fi love come from? I blame my dad, he pulled me into Star Trek and all that sort of things, and now I am hooked. His fault, not mine.

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So now my parents are back in Holland, I got the house for myself tonight and I am going to enjoy a nice piece of chocolate thingy (words I don’t know how to spell will be replaced by ‘thingy’ get used to it!). If I got some time left I even plan to play some CZ again tonight. It’s been way to long, I got a brand new gamers mouse which I nearly managed to control 2 weeks back. Because of my break in well, everything because my parents where here, I have to start all over again, which doesn’t matter, I just play crap with it until I get used to it. But when I finally do get used to it, everybody has to get out of my way or be killed haha. My mouse: Trust Optical Gamers mouse GM-4600

My birthday

2008-04-16T22:12:00.001+01:00

I got this send by an email to me from my co-worker, how sweet!

Writing

2008-04-16T22:11:00.000+01:00

don’t know why but I really would like to write a book. I don’t know what about, just writing an interesting book, maybe even a bestseller. I not even figured out the genre yet. When ever I think I’m having a good idea I just write it down, read it back a few days later and decide that it is a pile of crap, and toss it.

I know I haven’t been blogging for long but I can’t even get readers, so how on earth did I get the silly idea that I’m able to write a good book? Hm, I know, I am going to try to write a short story, and then you all can tell me what you think! If it’s really horrible, then I know I need to improve, a lot. I got a little book called ‘How to write a damn good novel’. I’m nearly through it, but I got stuck somehow and not looked at it for over a month. I should finish that and then try and amuse you all!

I’m feeling a bug coming on… and my parents are here easter weekend. Come on bug, do it now so I’m better before next Thursday!

OMFG!

2008-04-16T22:08:00.000+01:00

Here is an interesting topic I stumbled upon when I was looking for other bloggers who play Counter Strike. When I read this my mouth fell open!

But I've noticed, while playing CS, that when a player admits she is a woman,
two things happen: one, she immediately has a huge target right on her forehead
- the rest of the server (generally all male) go all out trying to kill the
female player as fast and as violently as they can. And second, the male players
are generally embarrassed that they have been killed by a woman (it's really
offensive, actually) - and men who weren't killed by this particular woman, rag
on the other guys who were. Pairing this with the second statistic, that less
than 1% of game coders are women, well, clearly core gaming is a mans world.
There is NO respect for female gamers unless their skill level far exceeds most
men that they are playing against.

*click here for the whole topic

And here is my reply..

I hope I wasn't to hars but that is the biggist noncence I have ever heard!

I would like to comment on this, I play counter strike:
Condition Zero and I never ever had any disrespect from males (unless I piss
them off) and that is not because my skills are amazing. Also I don;t have a
huge target on my forhead when they hear my voice and discover I am a female. So
I dont know what servers you go on, but you are obviously in the wrong
place.

2008-04-16T22:07:00.000+01:00

My gaming history in very short!

2008-04-16T22:03:00.000+01:00

I got hooked on fps (First Person Shooter) online multiplayer games when I discovered Delta Force 2, when I was 17 years young! After an amazing time and meeting wonderful people, I had to move on to Red Faction, unfortunately, Delta Force 2 was a dying online game. I played Red Faction for around 2 years, met some really great friends who I’m still in touch with today! I met my wonderful boyfriend on this very game (heard rumours of a Red Faction 3 with online multi player! Big yay!!) As it goes with all games, Red Faction started to die as well, and many people of Red Faction moved on to something completely different, Call of Duty. Off course, I had to follow my friends; I even got myself a new machine so I could run the game. We had a great clan; we even had a few clan meetings here in England. People from Holland and even Sweden came over, we had a blast. After some time we (me and my boyfriend) moved to counter strike; condition zero and here I am, nearly 25 years of age and still loving to shoot those little sad bastards down. I know I am not a fantastic player, but hey; I am having fun and met a lot of interesting people.

I also play some Guild Wars now and then for about 2 years now, it can be a very interesting cool game, if you got some friends with you, playing alone is just not as fun. I play all sorts off games (mostly off line) besides the online multiplayer games, but usually get fed up with them pretty fast. Non online games are just not as fun as playing with other people and goofing around. So I think it is save to say that my favourite game at the moment is Condition Zero, what is yours?